Quiet and powerful eclipse of 3/14

As I woke up at 3AM on 3/14 and watched the moon turn red and stay there - all of the noise in my heart settled, and I watched in awe as the whole of the moon was eclipsed by earth's shadow. A huge celestial event unfolding before me in silence... the planets and sun moving synchronously and displaying all the power that is hidden in plain sight. How do I take for granted the speed with which the earth is rotating and revolving and the delicate dance with the moon? The seasons, tides and the countless events that happen without my input or control... 

Is parenting like gardening?

It is true - I never thought about parenting as a concept. I just thought I knew what to do and how, and relied on what I had absorbed in my own upbringing. 

Is parenting like gardening, I wonder. Do I know what seed I have been given to nourish and allow me to grow? The universal laws of water and sun apply to children as much as they do to plants. 

Do I not allow my creeping and flowering plant to be close to a trellis? Do I not allow my other creeping but heavy fruit-bearing plant to crawl unhindered on the ground? Will I try to break them and mold them into trees or shrubs? Will I force them to stand tall and shame them for looking for support? Will I ridicule the flowers as a weak substitute for mighty fruits like melons or will I scold the melon because it grew on the ground and is marred by dirt? 

What if the oak grows at a slow rate whereas my bamboo is shooting up three feet a day? What then?

Don't each of the plants or trees or shrubs or grass have their own purpose? Is anyone diminished because the other shine? What then is this notion of missing out on the best for our children? 

What is my role? Perhaps just allow them to be seen and heard and feel worthy of belonging to this world and living out their life. Be a trellis for my creeper. Encourage my melon to wander uninhibited on the ground. Be a stake to my tomatoes. 

Watch for bugs and notice undue influences. In case of a severe infestation, repot, remove leaves and provide tender care and allow regrowth. This might be the most overlooked of all parenting duties when we are so caught up in the day to day and responsibilities towards the house and children. It is to take a moment to notice growth, accomplishments, ideas, feelings, new anything. Like plants, the children are growing daily, and it is our job to carefully watch them. Not to interfere, not to meddle, not to change or control, not even to fix, but to notice. And make them feel seen and heard and noticed for who they are growing to be. With curiosity. All the while assuring them of our unconditional love and support.

I believe it is never too late to start. Happy parenting!

Shobana

Day 2 - WFH mayhem

So today is day two of forced work from home - and we have an all day workshop that got converted into a remote session....thank God for the mute button! I haven't been more thankful for that. With two kids at home and one of them in online classes - and various times of the day everyone gets hungry!

I also fit in a 7 minute workout as soon as we broke for a lunch break! Best part of my day is filling this bingo sheet multiple times :)

Stay safe,
Shobana

Rainbows

Of unicorns and rainbows

or four leaved clovers and horses' shoes

Some are lucky we are taught 

and some are near impossible to find

But what about a friend who is 

invisible but still on your side

Through years and months 

Cities and towns

Countries and coasts

How strange to realize what one considers an outsider 

Is a disguised insider 

If only one had taken the time to see and really see 

One's words and actions

The consistency and kindness over time

Coming through with a silent vote

If such people exist in your life 

Take a moment now

To rejoice 

And count you blessed 

For not only have you found a unicorn

The rainbow is looking for you!

Shobana

What did Joseph hold on to?

As I was thinking about Joseph and what he went through with being sold as a slave and then put in prison a thought came to my mind as to what it was he held on to... Any person needs some light and some strong images to hold on to in their dark hours. This teenager was away from home and family and everything that had been familiar. He was sold as a slave by his own brothers. He was put in prison for no fault of his. He faced all of it. He never succumbed to self pity, not that we know of. It is not recorded. He persevered. He had a dream. He knew it had to come to pass. The dream was the light in his heart.
But was there more? What about the coat of many colors that his father gave him? What did that mean to this boy? He was a shepherd boy. His mother was no more. His dad loved him more than anyone else in the family. His brothers were jealous of that. And the attention he had from his father. He might have resembled his mother Rachel. There is no reference to that, we can only assume. What did his father tell him during the long cool desert nights?
Jacob his father had some stories to share I am sure.... Jacob had had a journey. He was a little lost in character and went through some stuff. He ran away from home and found himself in his uncle's village and farm. He worked for years to marry the girl of his dreams. Rachel became his obsession and single purpose. He worked hard. He couldn't cheat. No one was coming to his rescue like his mother had done time and again. He had to wait to marry Rachel. He had been a cheat. But now he was being cheated on. By his uncle. He learnt to give in once, but the next time he wisened up. He knew better. He made a deal and counted on God to see him through. He had wisdom and God was on his side. He came back to town and rich man. But he was still afraid of what he had left behind. His brother was still in town. He needed strength. He wrestled God. He found himself, saw himself and realized he needed more of God. God named him Israel.
Rachel was the love of his life. Everything he had and wanted was complete in her. She died during childbirth. The second son she bore was Benjamin.
Now Jacob had no one left to love like he did Rachel. He poured it out all on Joseph. Joseph was wise and strong and handsome. Jacob told him all the stories. The promises of God. The undeserved grace that was available to people who trusted in God. The stories about his great grandfather Abraham and what God had promised him, and to look at the stars. Stories about Isaac his grandfather. Jacob must have told Joseph how much he loved him time and again. Jacob gave Joseph the coat of many colors to show his love for Joseph and what he meant to him.
As a slave, far away from the warmth of his fathers love and family's protection, Joseph remembered these stories. He remembered God's promises. He remembered God always comes through. That is what he held on to. His father's words and his Heavenly father's promises. They were not in vain and his faith was not in vain. It came full circle. He was reunited with his father and brothers. He lived with his father a long time in prosperity. He forgave his brothers. He was ruler over them all. He was second in command only to Pharoah, the most powerful man on the planet at that day and age.

A wise tree sheds its leaves

As we were cruising along the New York State thruway to Albany, en route to see the tulip festival, rows upon rows of trees were whizzing past us. I paused a moment to consider these trees and tried to notice them. Not an easy feat at seventy mph, but nonetheless I attempted to...

And a profound thought hit me... there are no ugly trees, nor flowers or birds or frogs for that matter. They just are, just the way they are created, none trying to be anything other than who they were born to be, doing what they knew to do best, and just being....

Some of the trees I saw had a lot of damages inflicted on them. Some them had even died standing up. Some had fallen. But both had become supports and food for other plants to grow on. I don't know that they laid down their life with a martyr attitude, they just died. Of the ones that were still standing, none had complained the hardships that come their way, with the bitter colds of the northeastern weather patterns, nor of the blizzards or hurricanes that broke their branches. None had compared itself to another tree that had been spared the high winds and stood tall and proud with no missing branches or leaves. None felt small. None felt greater. None felt any less because of the broken branches, missing trunks or scarred boughs. None had even decided that enough is enough, I won't put out leaves this year, who is going to notice? Who appreciates me? I just stand here in the middle of the clump of trees on the way to Albany. Why oh why did the roads not pass by me, so that I too could get some more sunlight. I have to grow taller each year and only the tops of the branches get some light.

Will anyone notice that I didn't bother shedding my leaves last year? Even birds sometimes don't notice me. Why am I doing this? What is my purpose... But the trees just are... and no matter how broken or maimed or scarred or bent from the wind... there are no ugly trees. And the reason I think they they are not ugly is because they do not judge neither others or themselves. They just are a tree, blooming, healing from their wounds, bringing up water, releasing them into the air, and soaking in the rain, and just breathing and singing and being glad to be alive...

There are no policemen trees to keep order, there just is. No one settles a dispute between trees, there just aren't any. They don't decide where to grow, they just grow where they are. They don't feel the need to move and stretch their branches, they just spread out. Their scenery doesn't change much, they don't go on cruises or travel to see places. They just be. Just be. Who they are. A tree. In all its wisdom and beauty... there are no ugly trees....

ps. If there are no ugly trees, no one should call themselves ugly because of their behavior  Show compassion to yourself when you make mistakes, forgive, let go. Ask a friend to forgive you if you can't do it for yourself. If you open your heart, there are friends to made... there are no ugly trees.

-Shobs